Am I a racist? Are you a racist?

When being accused of being a racist, most people react defensively.

"I'm absolutely not a racist. Who gives you the right to call me a racist! In fact, YOU are a racist."

Not all negative labels carry the same degree of power. None of the following labels: micro-manager, perfectionist, hothead, leadfoot, elicit the kind of reaction that the term "racist" does. In fact, a couple of them may even be embraced in a humble-bragging manner by some people. 

Why then, does "racist" carry so much weight? 

The other traits do not have to do with morality. They describe regular human flaws. A racist, however, is not just someone with shortcomings or annoying tendencies. A racist is immoral. It belongs in the same category as a wife-beater, child-molester, human-trafficker. 

In a moralistic society, immorality is viewed harshly. Being labeled a racist is being personally attacked in the core of our being. 

Criticize our driving or managing people and we don't take offense. Criticize our morality and you have gone too far. You are calling into question the deepest sense of who we are. 

Is it any wonder that in the discussions of race can heat up so quickly? Both sides claim to be on moral high ground and condemn the other. 

On top of that, when the other side is immoral, indignant righteousness gives us a boost in our feelings of superiority, causing us to feel justified in treating "those immoral people" in immoral ways. 

What if having morals does not exclude misunderstanding and lack of knowledge? What if having morals does not immediately remove biases we have absorbed unknowingly? What if having morals does not teach us the skills to handle complicated situations?

What is having racists thoughts and inclinations does not make us immoral? 

Can we then have more discussions without the fear of unknowingly or unintentionally exposing flawed understandings and unrecognized biases? 

Can we be free of the fear that if we express ideas that are shockingly "racist" to someone else that our ideas would be dismissed and we be viewed with disgust?